Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Written July 28, 2014


This week I did not take any pictures.


It´s true, but I wasn´t even not shaking hands for me, just for them. I can´t believe that Ben went to that. I also can´t believe that it started a fight. I have been to a bunch of sleepovers like that and I just left early. I feel like it is expected like that. 

I also have an extra large kids shirt that I found in my closet before I left and it sucks and so I just try to avoid wearing it, because one day I was wearing it and noticed it is really short and the collar is all weird and then found out it was just for a fat kid. 


It would be weird if you and Ben hung out, but I´m not opposed to it (just feel like you´re both trying to replace me with someone you didn't even hang out with that much). If I were a robot writing letters, the real me would try to tell you and then it would just get censored out, but haven´t you seen the pictures? I thought the tough love thing never worked because I just already do that to myself and I feel bad and depressed. (But yeah, that is why I sometimes didn´t like Cushing or Stotts). I didn´t even 'get' the mormon compass thing for a second and then I understood it, and then I felt sad that I forgot, but yeah, great mormons. I will write it in my agenda that I have to pray, but I usually forget the people after like one day, so sorry that I am stupid, I just try to pray for a lot of people and then forget and don't pray for anyone. Also, of course you're still one of my best friends because only you and Joseph even have cared enough to write me, haha. 


Super saiyan or troll? I got confused by your letters at first, because it sounds like you had the exact same vacation as before and you guys had already told me some of those things, so it is like the same thing again (I just couldn´t remember the week) but with more details. Everyone was saying that it got to 56 and only 42 and 60 degrees and I knew some of those were lies but wasn´t sure about the actual temperature, because no one is reliable. One lady told us that it isn´t going to be any hotter than that now, but august will be worse for the humidity, who knows though, like I said, no one is reliable. That thermometer sounds like a science fiction thing, why did you buy it?

I think I have eaten at Virgils, but I can´t remember. I don´t understand why someone would resist salmon and asparagus (I have not been able to find asparagus here, I don´t know why, I think maybe in the other supermarket I heard). I´m glad that you guys are making friends and that ben is going to be the only one in the family that knows how to swim good (if you count just me and him as the family). 


I am glad that you were able to see Grandma. And good thing about the ice cream. You know they (or in other words me) say that it adds 80 years to your life. 

I would like you to buy me shoes that are size 9 with regular width, but wait until September to send them, so that I don´t get them really early. I don´t care what brand, but the nicer looking pair of shoes that I used before have those splits in them, so not that kind. I don´t know if Eccos or Propets would be cheaper on Amazon, or just the same other ones that I had before. You´ll probably send them to me and then I will get changed to the zone where you can buy Eccos for like 20 dollars (allegedly used, but probably stolen). I might buy some new shirts and pants and stuff, but I think I will just ask for money to do that, or I might just wait. Especially if soaking in bleach can get all of the sunscreen and dirt and sweat stains out of the collars. 


Find some songs on youtube that are called:

My Kindness will not depart from you

Gethsemane Song 
and Savior Redeemer of my Soul,

if they aren´t cool, then you found the wrong songs. 

I think my mouth guard that I had made is only going to last until the year mark, but I kind of don´t know what to do, because allegedly the dentists here aren´t that good and they cost like a 1000 pesos a visit and I don´t really know where to find one (I have seen some, but not really very convenient ones) or explain what I need or anything. Would there be some kind of mouth guard that you could send me that I could mold to also be a retainer or like that plastic one that dad made? One of my friends in the MTC had a three D file of his teeth and they can just print him new retainers (alright not print but carve, I think). But I think that it is too late for that. What should I do?

I am sick again this week. So I finally am starting to believe what the people always said that the heat and then the air conditioning and then the heat and then the air conditioning is bad, but I think it is because I sweat a lot and then sit in front of the cooler, oh well. 

I might have already told you guys this before, but there are missionaries that say they know we can reach the goals our President or other leaders set in every area of the mission and say that if we have faith in God we can do anything he wants us to, and He wants us to reach those goals (although I think all of that is mostly true) I also know God often sets goals for us that we can´t do (yet). Like in the Bible when he says that we should be perfect like Him and the Savior. Is that a lack of faith?

Also, I sometimes don´t like being a missionary because sometimes I don´t feel like people are really looking for what I have to offer. Like I am happy to teach them and if they want to get baptized, to help them, but I don't want to persuade too much. Also, another thing I think is bad is how much we focus on baptism, because there are 4 others steps of the Gospel (faith, repentance, the confirmation and persevere until the end) they are just not as convenient to measure. But I have also recognized that I have a fear of baptism and it is just stressful to plan a service. 

Apparently, the average baptisms for one missionary in two years here is like 30, but I only have 3 (I don´t really focus on the numbers that much, just for interest) and they are all inactive, which I have been in the low baptizing stakes, but oh well. I don´t really care. I just want to be good with God and complete what he expects me to do, but sometimes I have doubts that I am even doing that. For example, I have to struggle a lot with attitude and obedience to the little rules and stuff and sometimes I´m completely inconsistent. Also, I feel like I am going to struggle with the same things for all my mission (which sucks because I think that it is probably also like that in life, that we struggle with the same weaknesses for the entire time and then we die). 

Anyways, don´t worry too much about me. I (kind of) almost have a year, at least another missionary asked me what it was like to have almost a year, which surprised me, because I don´t feel like I have almost a year.

Love you guys and see you soon and eternal families and don´t give me diarrhea and it gets better and better and love for josh and the atonement and telepathic hugs love you love you

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