Monday, December 15, 2014

Written October 20, 2014


Josh, being actually Jr comp is funny, because that also happened to me. That is true about giving them good experiences. I am not sure our investigator will want him to baptize her, becuase my other companion and i did almost all the teaching, but we will see. Those practice ideas sound good, but did you teach like that? or only develop that ability for if they had something to say? I am also frequently too proud to ask my spanish companions for help. But my companion speaks Spanish, since he is from Bolivia, so I am just trying to make sure he dedicates himself to English, because that will help a lot. He is a lot more of a natural missionary than me, even though he also is reasonably shy, so sometimes I feel jealous (which is pretty crappy of me as a trainer), but oh well. 

But he is pretty patient, so it is okay.

Dad, we went on Pday and we had exchanges where I could see it from the mountain. I want to try tuna sashimi some day. Thanks for your encouragement. Sometimes it is so hard to hold on.

Mom, I have such a desire to be a good home teacher when I get back, like you said, but I am afraid that everything else will get in the way (like maybe including my companion for example), but it is really hard to juggle all the stuff you have to do in life. I am glad you like Japanese stuff now,  so that we can watch cartoons and drama when we get home. I found a sister that liked korean drama, but more like soap operas and more modern, and not the interesting historical kind we like. 

I wanted to open the box, but I forgot. All that stuff about worry and selfcontrol and all of that is true. Now I just have to apply it. 

Aunt Trudy, I also discovered that at BYU I liked Isaiah a lot, sometiems I just don´t understand all of the historical references.. Love you!

Jess, thanks for bearing me your testimony. Sometimes it is easy to forget those things, even on a mission. Love you too!

This week:

I think sometimes they associate righteousness with baptisms, like the president said that he thinks so many companerismos didn´t baptize becuase of disobedience, but sometimes I don´t baptize and I (not perfect) try pretty hard to be obedient. I am not sure that I will baptize a ton for that, but i have faith that God will give me some kind of blessing at some point for my effforts.

I am probably more guilty of disobedience of omission, like not contacting enough or every single person that I can or breaking the rule of ¨Follow the Spirit and you will know exactly what to do¨ because everyone acts like it is like that, but it isn´t really. I also recognize that I am not going to be the perfect missionary, like the Savior, so sometimes it is hard.

I am never going to write you physical letters because they told us they open them and read them (but it turns out they were talking about letters to converts) but I am still not trusting of them now. Also, they told us we left our agency when we were set apart, which isn´t true. Sigh. I still try to apply my agency well though.

Pres. Fowler told me the mission was a pattern of excellence: that if I was diligent and had success in my life, the mission would be the same. After several bad weeks, I have to start to admit that I´m a bad missionary, but maybe i have a lot to improve then, and lots of ways to be better (maybe in Brazil that is a quote from Satan, but in Tijuana our president said if we aren´t baptizing every week or at least every month, then there is a problem with obedience).

In other news, I have a leader that has a really good perspective as our zone leader. He says that God doesn´t have the baptisms in His hands like christmas presents that he gives us for being obedient, but that he is working with all of us and also working to get people to get baptized. I think that is a lot more true, but then the area presidency and the mission president say that we should always have certain numbers and everyone says those numbers come from God, but I have my doubts (but remember, doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith).

Also, we only found 0 new investigators this week, which is probably unheard of. I think it is because I don´t like to impose or insist a lot (even though we contacted 21 people and some accepted that we come other days). Maybe I need to improve with that. It has been like 3 really bad weeks in a row. (I´m in a rut, but I will keep trying ot be obedient and be better).

We talked about leaving our nets behind too and all of the ones I thought of or chose are completely psychological (pride, doubt, discouragement) so it is probably going to be a lifetime battle. I need a therapist, haha.

Also, I have had two companions now tell me that they put metal in the microwave and nothing have ever happened, but I am an eye witness to that it sparks and stuff. But then we did it with tin foil and tortillas and nothing happened. So I am doubting that now....

I am not depressed just so you know. I am feeling a little bit better today from your letters. I miss you guys and am going to keep working to overcome, and you guys too so that we all stay in the boat and are in heaven together.

Also, mary is going to get baptized this week. I am excited, but also nervous, because not one of the people I have baptized or taught and then later got baptized, is going to the church with regularity. I am going to keep trying, but I dont´know if I just teach bad or if the ward fails or if I fail or what.

i love you guys a lot and eternal family and the atonement and t hugs and it gets better and better and just keep swimming (but don´t leave the boat) and love for Josh (and thanks for the tips) and love you guys a lot


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