Written June 23, 2014

Family,

Lindsay, love you too!

Kiley, ironic that you have met my niece, and I haven't. Im glad that my letters help you when you are feeling that you have panic attacks or are depressed, (my family members have expressed similar sentiments, although I am unsure, since in my letters, I only describe experiences like that.) Tattoos look fine, but once you get old, it won't look good on your aged skin (but no sense crying over spilled ink, permanently into your skin with a needle). I would avoid talking about poop and stuff like that on my blog (my mom would like to censor that sort of thing, but I told her she wasn't allowed to) but then it wouldn't be an authentic experience. Would it? I also would like to annotate people's letters, but printing is harder in mexico. I don't know what my favorite Bible verse is, because I take all the scriptures we have collectively, and they are in the Book of Mormon, but I will tell you if I find one.

Dad, never send big pictures again, because it was like this: matt's face, lindsays face, bens face, bens belly, mackenzie...? But thanks for the pictures Dad. I think that they were all full-sized, but I was just looking at previews and that made me pararnoid. (the spanish verb parar maybe plus paranoid). Also, in the mtc, I tried to send more than 2 photos at once and they didn't send and it was a hassle, so I have never tried again.  Be careful that that couch you found for Aaron doesn't have bed bugs. 

Mom, I want to see baby deer and poppies. The suit still hasn't arrived, but I think it will arrive Wednesday. I will tell you when, but because i am in mexicali, things don't arrive except once every 6 weeks. The kid that I baptized we met through some members that reactivated with him, but this past sunday none of them came, which made me feel really bad. We need to visit him, but sometimes we don't have time and retention is allegedly mainly the ward's responsibility. We are supposed to teach him the missionary lessons again, but then they also say that nonmembers are the priority. I feel like he probably is going to go inactive and it's going to be on my head, which I just mostly feel bad for him, not for the sin I am going to have. I am not where the Colorado river is, so i can't tell you if any water comes through. But if they change me to San Luis Rio Colorado, I will tell you. Also, if you can't update my blog, make Ben or Dad or someone do it, but thanks for all of your help with that! Love you a lot!

Ben, i feel the same way, that is, someone ticks me off and then I try to be nice and better to them and things are fine, and then they tick me off again. Ben, if you are the next prophet, then Thomas Monson is going to be the prophet for a long time. It was probably just a sympathy bloody nose (kuvad) with me in the dry heat of Mexicali (vaseline will help you a lot, put it in your nose every morning and night). I wish that i could be like you, Ben, and say stuff like that about the budget and time and all of that (but here I am writing when I should be proselyting, because no one listens to me when I tell them we don't have time for this or that). Try not to say hell and stuff, but i also said hell once in the past week. You could say no manches or caray, those are things that I always say, but no manches isn't allowed anymore for missionaries...sigh.... I don't want to do your ordering thing, but just know that throughout your mission, you will probably need encouragement for every single one of those reasons. I also don't like it when people scream the F word, but Joseph told me he said a lot of bad words when he broke his arm, and he usually doesn't swear, so maybe it is really hard to control. When you tell me that you and dad are fighting, I feel really bad, so you need to at least insert some kind of joke or something. Thanks for postponing your suicide at least until I return. 

Josh, we went to the mall during the mexico game today, and everyone was screaming, but really they aren't that bad. I think that maybe everyone will be drunk afterwrds, but not any more than usual. 

This week:

Will the spirit ever indicate that I should break a mission rule or a commandment? (everyone is always trying to justify with Nephi).

Which rules take priority (because even I admit that sometimes we are in a situation or we create a situation where we have to break some rule and you have to choose which): our safety (spiritual or physical) even when we don't think there's a problem or the POTENTIAL salvation of other people? I got in a fight with my companion about this, because I have never really believed in the ends justify the means, but even I admit that for weakness, I break a lot of little rules.

Sometimes my companion ticks me off, but sometimes i like him. As examples: he corrected me for calling the stake presidency counselor ¨President¨ because he doesn't preside, even though he is president and we asked another missionary and my companion said he should even call President Eyring, Elder Eyring. Or for example we were reflecting on the week and I said i didn't contact anyone (because it is a huge weakness of mine) and he asked why I thought I didn't, and I said that maybe I was waiting for the perfect situation which wasn't going to happen and then he started lecturing me about how I can't wait for a sandwich to fall from the sky from God and a bunch of stuff. And I was thinking: 'I know, I literally just told you that was my problem'.

Or we had to wait for computers in the internet cafe and I said we could go to another, one street away because I don't like waiting (because it was already 5:20 and we should be proselyting by 6) and then he just said, oh, you're impatient).....

Another missionary told me he heard he could be kind of a jerk sometimes ( and that is a pretty good description). That same missionary also gave a talk on reverence and then we were talking about it and he was saying how he would talk every week and then told us about a talk he gave with rice krispy treats and how everyone was laughing when he paid his tithing of rice krispy treats to the bishop, but then took a bite out of it, because he didn't have enough left and how that was the way to get people to pay attention (anyone see the hypocrisy of this?)

But whatever, like Ben told me 'the Atonement', my companion is smart and not that bad. It just makes me realize that i have to marry someone who thinks they are better than everyone else (like me) but doesn't think they are better than me. But really, I try to remember that maybe i have corrected people insistently when I was wrong and stuff sometimes comes out wrong, and that we probably aren't really that different in an eternal scale, for God. 

Now, I am going to talk about poop more. The worst punishment in the world is being in a house with one bathroom and having to poop really bad and your companion is taking up the bathroom, and we aren't at home, so I can't even run into the forest as an option. But it was the first time that I have had skid marks...so like I was telling you, every experience is for our exaltation and our own good, so somehow, this helped me. 

I am reading Jesus the Christ, which my companion lent me, and it is really interesting and really good. Did you know Joseph and Mary were first cousins? Me neither. But really it is very good. 

The elders quorum president read that scripture about that women should learn in silence in the sacrament meeting over the pulpit. Idiot.

Love you guys a lot and don't give me diarrhea (because sometimes my companion is showering and I have to wait) and the Atonement and eternal family and sorry if I am a jerk sometimes and love you

Written June 16, 2014

Family,

Dad, does that mean they aren't good enough quality to erase the ones from my camera? How can I prevent email from shrinking them? Also Happy Father's Day

Also Happy Father's Day, Grandpa 

And also Matt

And hopefully not anyone else

Mom, I don't think I would like that. When I went with Josh and his friend in Golden, I felt like a noob and like I was going to drown. But I am really jealous of your vacation that you all had. 

Josh, I'm pretty sure it was an old woman that friended you, but I was asking if you secretly know Spanish. But your quote confirmed that you only kind of secretly know Spanish. I don't care if you talk with her, but if they start censoring my email, then I will start sending messages through her. 

Lindsay, in response to your photo, see my photos (a photo is worth a thousand words) but she's a cute one

Dad, again, I am really jealous of the parts of the vacation you guys told me about. I don't know if you had more fun than usual or if it just seems more fun, but oh well. I haven't gotten anything from Brother Cheney yet, but I did get an email from Pres. Fowler. Secretly, I want that you are my high council pen pal, but Brother Bickmore would have been cool. Maybe brother cheney will teach me some cool spanish (but I doubt it because chaqueta (jacket) also means jacket here, unless you're talking to a middle schooler and then it is something vulgar and things like that. (Spanish is different here is all I am saying). Or like in Argentina "cajeta" is also something vulgar, but here it is just a caramel flavored thing.

Ben, don't be a party pooper just smile really big when you make a mistake and try something new. It is something that I try to do, but usually I just feel like crying, but there is no point in going if you are just going to choose to be unhappy about every aspect, so at least choose to have a little fun. I kind of want to feel an earthquake, but they are allegedly worse here, so not that much. That thing about froot loops is true, don't you remember the story about Lindsay's green poop on St. Patrick's Day (It also happened to me). Maybe you should enter the science fair with an idea like that (why didn't we have these good ideas back then). Also, in the last 2 minutes always fill in a bunch of bubbles, but I suppose you already know that. I thought of you this week when my companion asked me why I said I couldn't think positively and I wanted to say it was an illness, but I knew he wouldn't understand. 

This week: 

A leader ticked me off and I was going to give you all the details, but it is better that I just forget....sigh

My new companion told me in English "Sometimes I think the church isn't true in Mexico" which is true, but also sometimes equally true in the US, because people are crazy.

Where is your ostrigonum? Because sometimes my calf hurts while I am jump-roping.

I feel like the world is going to fall apart on Monday's. The tube got clogged in sink where the washer drains and I figured out that the water spraying everywhere is why the washer is unbalanced because the earth is all eroded away and we couldn't unclog it, so we had to channel it to the yard, hopefully the soap really is biodegradable and doesn't kill everything.

Also, we didn't have a chance to clean (why?! Maldito P-day) because we went to do other stuff, like drop off my companion's suit at the cleaner. Also, I crossed the street to eat in another zone, so that is a sin, or at least disobedience. I am going to keep trying. They also charge a ton for a quesadilla or anything in some restaurants, that's why I don't like to eat in big streets or in malls, but oh well, eating less is probably healthier. (The curse of crossing into the other zone). On the bright side, I finally got a bus ticket that has numbers that add up to 21, which my other companion said you can exchange for one kiss. 

Worst of all, I killed three baby cockroaches in one day, so I don't know how much hope there is to stay cockroach free....but like I said last week, all the experiences we have are to prepare us for exaltation, so I guess I need this for some reason. 

I read a scripture by accident in d and C 103:9-12 and you guys can read it. But it just means that nothing is going to be easier and we have to work harder to share the gospel and reactivate people and stuff. Like Elder Ballard (?) said in conference, to share the Gospel once a trimester (but I think that means actually inviting someone to listen to the missionaries). I am going to keep trying hard too.

My companion is from Mexico City again and the first few days I really liked him (but not as much as some other companions). He is 24 but I kind of butt heads with him (or more like I just want to, and don't because arguing doesn't help, especially when you're wrong), because he is smarter than me and usually always right and so I just feel dumb (maybe because i'm not that used to it), but also the type of person, like a teacher that is really strict and kind of hard to like, but does it for your good. So hopefully I improve a lot with him, even though he is kind of hard and pretty formal (he still jokes though a lot. I think it is all about perspective).

Now I am going to google the difference between ox and cow and bull and how to prevent cockroaches.

I love you guys and eternal family and don't worry about me and the atonement and don't give me diarrhea and I love you

Written June 9, 2014

Family,

Mom and Dad, those pictures of Bountiful and a poppy and the baby make me want to be home, but oh well.

Dad, everyone jokes about the Colorado River because it is completely dry here (maybe they let a little water through) but in San Luis Rio Colorado, there isn't any. So that explains why it is so wet at home. I am jealous that the year that I am not there, it is so wet. I can't even find asparagus in the grocery store here, so I don't know if they actually grow it. As far as the mission, they just changed the dress standards before I left, and they are barely different. We aren't going to have polo shirts until my great grand kids. 

Mom, the boys and dad is Aaron and Ben and Dad or Josh? The suit hasn't come yet, but I think it will this month. Don't send me anything else for a while because it will be hard to bring it all home at once. My companion did get transferred, and my new companion is from Mexico City again. His name is Elder Flores. Allegedly, he is disobedient, but I have only known him for a couple hours and he seems alright. We'll see how things go. Also, to be fair about being in Mexico, I flew into San Diego.

This week:

Josh, do you really speak Spanish? Because I told that sister that you would be able to talk to her and she said you said that everything is fine and that you send saludos. 

I don't feel like writing much because our washer broke and their aren't any laundromats nearby, so it is going to be a huge pain in the neck to try and repair it. My companions first day in Mexicali and a ton of stuff already is difficult. I feel stressed out though, but it helps to know that every single one of these experiences is going to prepare me for exaltation. 

Allegedly this week it is going to be 50 degrees celsius sometime, but I don't know. It seems hot to me, but I still don't feel like complaining about it. I stained my sheets with sweat and so they look like they're always wet now, but we started using the air conditioner in the night, so i won't keep staining them. 

I did pee in the sink, like Josh always suggested when we lived together and then cleaned with the sponge and a lot of soap, but good thing that pee is sterile. The only thing is that sometimes you just want to go to bed and your companion is showering, so you gotta pee in the sink. Like they always say here, no pasa nada.

I think that there is going to be a baptism in the ward of someone we are teaching (I say it like that, because I try really hard to remember and baptize for the right reasons, but it is hard sometimes for pride and the natural man), but I just hope that he continues faithful. I don't even want to be a missionary if all of the converts I have are just going to go inactive. 

Sometimes I feel kind of angry or don't know what I am doing wrong that I feel like I try to be obedient and the leaders don't have very much confidence in me and lots of other missionaries are already training or leaders, but I don't care. I just want to be happy and do good, but sometimes I feel discouraged. This week, not so much, because my companion was discouraged, so I had to not be discouraged. 

Congratulations to Vanessa and Ryan and also again to Mikey and Drew!

I love you guys a lot and am going to keep trying. I will tell you more about my companion next week. Eternal family and all that.

Kaden

Written June 2, 2014

Family,

Mom, yeah, scientists are so dumb. Hopefully Josh marries that girl so that I can learn to speak Spanish and she can support him when he decides to be an actor/sidewalk artist.

Dad, as for the trash in Mexico, my companion always litters. But his family moved to California and I told him that he is going to get stoned if he does that in California. We can't ride bikes in the summer allegedly because we might faint and die. Speaking of which, a missionary allegedly fainted and lost his memory here in Mexicali, but who knows if its really as bad as everyone says. The uniforms are basically the same as the Japanese ones, just that there are more people that have fake died blonde hair. All you guys do is eat pizza, but that's okay. I don't blame you.There's only Chinese restaurants and the food isn't even as good as Chinese food in the US. Also, that mole is the Mexican curry, but I haven't eaten it that much, because b and v are basically the same letter and they misspell stuff all the time.

Ben, that's true, but I am still sorry for spitting in your mouth, but if I remember correctly, it wasn't unprovoked. You spat on me and then you were screaming because I pinned you down and it was just bad luck. That also seems really messed up to me about the vest with weights on it, especially because they were just making her stronger, so that when she removed the vest she had superhuman strength and would be even more difficult to control (like in Samurai Jack). A family here could have used a vest like that to help their son to not jump and run, due to the risk of dislodging the bead in his nose that might have killed him. I think that he is fine now. Yeah, they can't think of new pokemon, so they just remake all of them. 

Josh, good to know that you are concentrating everything in a really funny letter. I already read the stuff you and Ben wrote and just laugh a ton in the internet cafe, which doesn't help that everyone already hates me for being American. I also miss hanging out with you. 

Jessica, Ask Josh about his glowing chest thing. Love you!

This week: 

I bought a ton of fruit and almost died trying to carry it home. It is a lot harder to eat good without a car. I think I wrecked my watermelon...

I read a quote in a Liahona from Brigham Young about how every single experience we have is a requirement for exaltation which is like what my other companion taught me that we shouldn't do stuff if it doesn't make sense or have a reason and that makes me feel a lot better because it reminds me that not only is my suffering useful and have a point, but there is no other way and it is necessary and specific. 

Still, I feel depressed sometimes, even though I know God has a plan for me. And that plan is really good because it is perfect, to the point that it accounts for all of my imperfections. 

I wrote some depressed stuff in my list when I was depressed earlier this week, but it doesn't even make sense now, like what Mom always says about the glasses (half full or half empty). Maybe it is unhealthy, but writing it down is interesting in retrospect. 

Mom and Dad, I was thinking about it and I really admire you guys for not going inactive when they said Aaron couldn't go to church anymore and you still stayed faithful and everything (but remained true to who you were by quitting all of your calliings, haha). How can I be more like you guys?

Could you do me a favor and put several gallons of ice cream and milk in a cooler (and Ben, if he'll fit) and drop it in the Colorado River so that it floats here?

Speaking of ice cream, they have a thing until the end of June at the grocery store, where if you spend 200 pesos, you get a ticket and if it is a winner, you get 2 minutes and a stipend of 5000 pesos to buy whatever you want. Anyways, the entire thing gives me a lot of anxiety and I couldn't sleep trying to think about what I was going to buy and I finally decided a bunch of ice cream and then milk then cereal, cookies then sun screen....but after all my planning and scoping out the store, I didn't win.

There is so much apostasy in other countires. Even in the US, the members say dumb stuff, but still, here, I was talking with my companion and no one respects the garment. Also, he told me once in the principles of the gospel class that a member started telling all the investigators the stuff that we are under covenant not to discuss and he had to stop her and then they had a bunch of questions.

Also, in this ward some member and leaders were saying that an exorcism isn't a normal blessing and that you learn how to do it in the temple (that part where Satan has to leave because they use the priesthood) and it says how to do it in the bishops handbook; but I just told my companion we shouldn't do anything that isn't in our manual. But like that was the stuff we were supposed to learn in the temple...

So in Christmas, the presidency of the area made/sent a letter to the missionaires as part of the plan of the area and it has some requirements as follows:

100% of missionaries doing the following (because the results we are having "are not acceptable":

-baptizing every week (possible, but only for good missionaries, for me no, especially since I am afraid of baptizing, because it is so stressful, but it is not like I am avoiding it intentionally)

-40-60 lessons per week (in this area, between walking and canceled lessons and meetings we have like 20 to 25 a week)

-a new person or name (less active or non-member) to teach from every lesson

-one person we find everyday on our own

But it is completely impossible and barely anyone will admit it because even if we saw those names 2 times a week only and then dropped them, we'd have to have betwen 80 and 120 lessons every week, not including those that carried over from the previous weeks. Some people say goals like this encourage us or we are preparing the next missionaries to reach these goals, but they just tick me off sometimes, that is when I am not just ignoring them.

Anways, this week, I am happy again. Sometimes I lose my patience with my companion, but he is a good companion as far as companions go (even if he is always talking, even when we're toileting or doing personal study sometimes; but it's okay, because I don't talk). I only have this week left with him and then the transfer is over. Hopefully I don't go, because I went out of control and bought a ton of milk and fruit that I won't be able to carry with me.

My english companion wants to know what stake lindsay is in? Also, I know Lindsay wants me to say it and I haven't enough, so 'your baby is a cute one'.

I love you guys and I hope everything is good there. And I love you and don't give me diarrhea and eternal family and I am going to keep trying and you guys too and love you and the atonement.

Kaden

Written May 26, 2014

Family,

Love you!

Josh, does the waffle iron cook the chicken thoroughly and does it taste good? Is it hard to clean the waffle iron? I can't remember the last time I had a migraine, but I think it was less than 6 months ago. I wouldn't want to do that though, because they are going to induce a migraine and I wouldn't pay that much to get rid of one, but I wouldn't accept anything to have once induced.

Mom, I read on wikipedia that there aren't conclusive studies about msg, but I still try to eat fresh, the only thing is soup and refried beans. Can you cook beans as fast as rice? If you can, then there isn't even a point in buying the envelopes with them. Kenzie only has 5 months left to be speaking in complete sentences (like you guys said we did at a year) so good thing she is making progress. It struck me as weird that you said "her mom" but oh well. Also, all this about your printers and lasers that make a 3d topographical scan of things is making me feel like you guys are in the future over there (they use that exact thing in Incredibles) We have a microwave now that was extra that belonged to some missionaries that are in a furnished apartment now, so we stole it.

Grandma, I am sorry that you re-doing your carpet is so dumb. Why does it seem like everytime anyone decides to do anything like that, it never works out as planned? Also, I am sorry that my dad conned you, but next time, just try all of the foods (share) and then demand the better thing. Tell Grandpa and everyone in Utah that I love them!

Dad, the bikes were bought by the ward, I guess. I paid like 10 dollars to fix mine and buy a new tire. But we can't use them during the real heat, so I probably wont spend very much energy tryng to fix them. My companion will wear his helmet strapped now, but doesn't tighten his strap very much, so I don't know, I already told him I would feel personally responsible if he died. I would never do that with a dead animal, because I read a story once about a girl that got sick from touching a dead squirrel. Our apartment is too small to move the bed or beds into the other room, but so far it isn't a problem. I think more of a problem is going to be exorbitant electric bills that the mission won't reimburse. They use it the same here (I already knew what it meant from Gintama)

This week:

We are trying to be more obedient because I think it is important (what is the principle, besides charity, that gets the most people into heaven) and last monday we decided not to break the rules to go eat and the entire rest of the zone did and my companion was telling me that he had better see the blessings, to which I said that I had seen blessings: like I broke 100 in bowling. Anyways, the blessings were immediate, because we were on the bus and the zone leaders called us to grill my companion that his entire district broke the rules and went to the mall without the mission presiden't permission, but he can't give permission anymore, so joke's on them.

Also, sometimes we turn down rides from women alone and, like saturday, another person offered us a ride immediately, like a minute later.

We went to chinese restaurant and a girl from China that barely speaks Spanish was amazed by our eyes. I guess colored eyes exist a lot less in the gene pool in China than in Mexico, now that I think about it.

The schools here remind me a lot of those in the anime in Japan in style and everything. It also helps that there are a bunch of people with the same color hair and eyes in the same uniforms (just like the japanese shows)

I had my first stomach infection this week (but everyone was surprised that I didn't have diarrhea; (I trust that you aren't fighting), which I thought at first was a migraine, but it wasn't. But don't worry, I got medicine and am feeling a lot better (medicine is so cheap here; the doctor (if he had charged me) and the medicine would have cost me like 10 dollars). 

But I asked the mission doctor how we should know when we should rest for illness and she told me when we felt fine with the Lord about it. Which is an answer too ambiguous for me and that crazy people use to rest too much and not enough. But they ask how many baptisms you have had, to give you permission, which ticked me off at first, until I realized it was just so they can tell your companion to go work without you. But jokes on them once again, because we were in exchanges and the other missionary didn't know the area.

Speaking of which, I feel like I might never baptize in my mission again. I am trying hard to be obedient and I feel like I am pretty organized, but I don't have a lot of success, so maybe I just need to feel more love or concern for the people, but I am going to keep trying to improve. It just stinks, because, supposedly, we are among the children of Lehi and the area presidency told us that we should be baptizing every week and things like that. I don't feel depressed though, but sometimes I wonder if I am being effective or just wasting my time or if I am a bad missionary. Also, if my sacrifices are worthwhile and if the Lord appreciates them and sees them, like that I don't play the piano as well and to a degree sacrifice my health and also risked my scholarship if I don't return with honor and things like that. 

Also, my companion and I were talking about ways to improve and he said he thinks we need to leave things in the lord's hands more and not rely on our own knowledge, but I feel like doing everything we can is relying that the lord is going to do his half if we do ours. Also, why do people act like if we have a lot of faith we are going to baptize a ton? I don't know if I agree or not, because I feel like I have faith, that is why I try to keep the commandments, but I also know that we are going to have a lot of trials and that God can't violate agency.

Also, I read something in an old ensign about a guy who thought his genealogy was done and then found like 50 more names, cool, huh?

Things I am going to make you guys when I get home: sopes with salsa verde, mole, agua de pepino, conchas maybe, pan estilo sinaloa, posole, refried beans, chiles rellenos, apple fritters and scones again maybe.

Things you are going to make me when I gt home: ice cream, soup, ice cream with fruit, puffed rice balls

Happy birthday this week, mom. I don't know when father's day is, so maybe Happy Father's Day this Sunday, Dad. Sometimes other missionaries have really nice clothes and stuff or we visit people that don't have kids and they have a really nice house and cars, but I realized that is the sacrifice of having kids, maybe, so thanks, mom and dad. love you guys

I love you guys and thanks for not giving me diarrhea and eternal families and the atonement and keep trying to improve. and see you soon and I miss you.

Kaden

Family,

I think that for one knee that was the problem, because it isn't hurting as much, but I think the other knee might be that plus a different problem with the joint. I wear the knee things mom sent me when I jump rope now, so hopefully that is the magic cure (the one that doesn't exist for anything). 

Ben,  Please get really good at swimming so that you can teach me how to do it better. I thought that you quit piano lessons for a while? Ben and Josh, now I have two adventure time things, but they are marceline and ice king which I really wanted BMO, oh well.

Mom, we didn't get our microwave, but they sent us an electric burner, which is good because we could disconnect the gas and close the window. The dumb thing is that one of the two burners already broke, also, it gets really hot all over. Josh says that shoes melting is a lie, because he once tried to melt his shoes in the fire and it didn't work. But allegedly August is the hottest month. 

Dad, I don't think I will get sick of Mexican food, because I really like it. I just get sick of the American food they give me and other stuff, but I like Mexican food a lot. I'll start putting Aaron in my prayers again, (darn pride cycle, but at least he is doing alright) Thanks for working hard to save everything for me. 

We fixed our bicycles (or I bought a new tire and had my tube repaired) and now we ride them. And I thought mine was the crappy one, because it can't change gears (because it is broken) until I found out the irritating way that my companion rides his is because his doesn't have brakes. The worst thing is that he refuses to buckle his helmet, so that isn't a great combination, but I am fine. I want to ride bikes with you guys again when I get home, now that I know how (from college and the mission) more or less decent.

Right now I am happy.

One of my favorite drinks they make is water of cucumber (which is just lemonade with cucumbers instead of lemons and some lime). You guys can make it in the blender if you want.

Allegedly, Mexicali is the drunkest city in the world and has the dirtiest air in the republic, including Mexico City, and is the hottest inhabited part of the world (because the Sahara doesn't have people) but its not that bad yet.

Did I seem older or different or better to you guys in the call?

Cockroaches run so fast. Is it true that they poop out eggs when you crush them? I don't know, but we always clean with bleach after killing one anyways. In my mission, I have seen 4 in our apartment, but never in our food, so we just try to be careful and put our trash in the freezer and stuff like that.

Also, I have a lot more fear of getting ticks here than before when we were camping, I have seen so many more here than I ever did in Colorado, maybe because of all the dogs, but at least I don't have to be scared anymore, like when I was little, of whatever bug was on the trampoline, because I know what they look like now.

I was reading when Ammon and his brother part ways and it said that they had faith that the Lord would bring them together again, and I think that is like the mission and life, because I have a lot of companions that I like and you guys and other people, and there are things that I can do, but ultimately I just have to have faith in the people I love that they will live their lives well, which is hard sometimes. But it is cool when Alma sees them again and he is really happy because they were still his brothers in the Lord.

The people sometimes fish in the canal here and my companion said that they probably only catch "cacadrillos" which is a combination word of cocodrillos (crocodiles). But we met a guy who did catch a fish and it turned out he used to be a traveling clown and has been to Asia and Europe and Africa and Patagonia, but now he is retired from the circus, (he didn't want to talk about religion).

I tried a new fruit that I think is called Mochi or something (which I guess it kind of looks like rice mush dough, but not really). It grows on a tree and looks like a soy bean pod and when it turns red it opens and there is fruit inside that is white and in spheres. It is kind of dry and has a similar flavor to jicama, but dry. It isn't good at all, but it is pretty when it turns red.

It is hot here, and it is going to get a lot hotter, but it doesn't help when people complain about it. The missionaries here fall right into the peoples hands when they say stuff like "The air burnt me!", exaggerating and things like that, because the people here just want to tell us we don't know heat and say stuff like that. Because they love it. Which it is hot, like we opened the windows in the car, and just hot air entered and dried us, but made us hotter, like an oven or something. We might be able to use sombreros in a little while, we don't know still. We have air conditioning but it is in the other room from our bedroom and is really expensive (which can be reimbursed but only to a certain point) so i don't know how much we are going to use it at this point, even though my companion already wants to.

Also, a friend of mine (but not me) wants to know if sitting on a hot bicycle seat really gives you hemorrhoids? I...or rather my friend heard that from his companion. 

Dad, guess what? They use the word otaku in Mexico. (Japanese word)

Also, I was reading in Alma 26:25-26 when it talks about how a lot of the Nephites wanted to destroy the Lamanites because of their sin but Ammon and his brothers went to the desert and converted a lot of them. It is the same here in Mexicali, in the desert, with union libre (no one being married) so I marked those verses in my scriptures with just the note of Mexicali and union libre.

An investigator had a doubt (that the Book of Mormon wasn't true) because she didn't recognize any of the names of the prophets, even after we explained that it was in a different place. But she said she thought maybe those were the false prophets the bible talks about because they had weird names. But really, I would have more doubts if they only had names that were found in the Bible.

I am happy here and the heat doesn't bother me, just the sweat right now. My companion sometimes bugs me, but like I said he always has good intentions and we are being more obedient than I have been with whichever other companion, so all those complaints I wrote in my journal were just to vent. I am still trying to be better like that.

Love you guys, eternal families, don't give me diarrhea, love your faces, telepathic hugs, shut up..... the atonement!

Written May 5, 2014 (Cinco De Mayo)

Family,

Lindsay, love you too. Dad or Mom or someone told me Mackenzie likes to suck on her toes especially her big one, so I know that she is your daughter. Haha

Ben, my companion asked me if I was indie and I told him no, but that my brother was.  Also, the only thing more embarrassing than a family member catching you crying while emailing, is the weeks when my companion does (also don´t worry about the love thing, josh sends me love every week). Kiley doesn´t ever write me anymore, but I don´t have that much time anyways, probably her tampoco. You´re probably right that M will look the same Ben, but I am expecting that she can talk mostly because everyone says she says Mama, and the babies here don´t learn to talk until like 4 years old some of them

Mom, I don´t have a back up phone number, so hopefully things work out. 

Sunscreen is easy to buy, but expensive. I am going to spend a lot of money on sunscreen (which doesn´t even do anything, because I sweat it all off immediately if I am outside in the sun) and water and sugar and salt for homemade gatorade and vaseline, which is helping my lips a lot. The crummy thing is the salt and chafing from the sweat, I can´t imagine how much it sucks to be somewhere humid. But I sweat a bunch after my shower and the real heat hash´t even begun, but even with those aspects, I am alright and actually happy. I might be able to wear a hat or something, but I doubt it. Someone mentioned something like that though. I said 'cenote' in a game where we have to name bodies of water and everyone was incredulous, like, "I think that is a volcano", but that´s okay, because my right quotient went up. We almost never do service, but that´s okay. Sometimes there are planned service projects, but I have never been able to help with one. I think I will have that chance sometimes. This week we moved the sister missionaries, maybe that counts.

I´ll probably get the easter package a week from Tuesday. I won´t use my other account to Skype you because I can´t remember the password. 

Dad, all of the photos from last week were in Tiujauan and all these in Mexicali.

I am feeling a burn de anxiety right now, with the emails and the call and stuff, but I will just sin and use a little more computer time. 

This week:

Kaden in Mexicali

We have a good and big ward, but we have the half with a lot of less actives, but that´s okay, except we have to walk a lot to the food and can´t visit the members except when we eat with them.

Everyone says that my shoes will melt, but I am going to use them anyways, because I don´t want to buy shoes with leather soles. Afterwards, I will ask you guys to send me more shoes if I need them.

My companion is good. He talks a ton and so we always waste a ton of time and he is really forgetful but he reminds me of a little kid in that he always has really good intentions. He tries to help me a lot and is a good person and wants to work (even though we waste a ton of time) so I try not to complain. He tries to clean too, but most people just don´t have the ocd attention that I have. I wash using powder detergent to clean, but I am going to invest in a bottle of clorox to dilute. 

He is trying to lose wieght and always asks about what I eat and exercise, but I do such crappy exercise that it can´t be that. I would really like to spend like an hour exercising, instead of 10 minutes, but oh well. 

Much Irrigated Farm Land

I´m trying really hard to laugh at everything, whenever I feel alone or at all of my insecurities and anxieites, and it´s really hard but when I fail I just try to try again and keep working the next day to be positive and I no longer label myself as a negative person, but rather a positive patient, happy person. Even though everyone always tells me I need to smile more which irritates me more than anything else. Like we were walking and the heat doesn´t even bother me and "why are you sad?" and so I just say that that is the thing that makes me the most sad, but I am doing a lot better at talking to people, so that is good. I felt depressed and wasn´t talking to anyone, but then I started to at the meal, and everyone liked me and it was way better and they complimented my spanish instead of asking if I had just arrived and said I talked unlike a lot of americans. 

When we do practices, my companion plays Dona Maria Apostasia, with her two typical ugly babies, which makes me laugh a ton. He also says if the numbers on our counter tickets on the bus add up to 21 we can exchange them for one kiss, which makes the bus ride a lot funner. The closest we got is me 19 and him 20. Haha

It is really dusty here, but I feel a lot better now that I bought vaseline, because my lips are regular again and my nose isn´t bleeding anymore. I also mixed homemade gatorade powder that I can use a little bit of and carry it with me to add to water. When July begins, we will have some time during the day to study (or if we are bad, sleep) but it will be miserable. The heat doesn´t bother me that much, like I said, just the sweating and the having to think so much about drinking water. 

My New Companion

It turns out that our accents don´t even matter. My companion is pretty american looking and from Caretero and everyone always acts surprised when he says he is Mexican. It is all about appearance. Also, once a sister trashed his spanish and said he needed to study more because she thought he was american. But also he said sabo once with a member, so it is true that he needs to study more. Also, it means that I can do it!

I still stress out a ton, but I feel a lot better when I feel like I am in an anime or a movie (and keep trying to remind myself that I am a relaxed person, now). Which is easy because Mexicali has a lot of interesting scenery, not in a pretty way, but in a bleak lonely way that i really like; like appreciating the mountains in the far background and the sound of our feet while we walk across a once-muddy, rutted field, stepping on the dried twigs and the weedy flowers  that I actually really like and a little bit of trash. (It´s like I am in a post-apocalypse sometimes)

Studying 

When we get back to the house it is like 94 degrees inside, but I don´t mind that much yet. Mostly I just hate the sun because it wrecks my skin.

I am already using more time than I should to write people, but maybe another epoch (is that a word?) in my mission I will do better. 

The Chinese food is famous here (and decent for how cheap it is) and people say that 75% of the population is Chinese and one guy was telling us they all live underground and that is why we never see them and they are isolative and only go to their restaurants to work, which sounded crazy until I realized that it makes perfect sense that Asians would be the only ones smart enough to live underground in this place. (and me, I had that idea)

I will see you guys on Saturday (if the family we are hoping for says yes) but I think so. My companion isn´t even going to call his family because he can´t get ahold of them. If not, don´t worry. I will write you Monday and see you soon. I love you guys a lot and awkward hugs and eternal families and don´t give me diarrhea (because it will kill me here) and love you and don´t worry and love you.

Kaden