Written May 5, 2014 (Cinco De Mayo)

Family,

Lindsay, love you too. Dad or Mom or someone told me Mackenzie likes to suck on her toes especially her big one, so I know that she is your daughter. Haha

Ben, my companion asked me if I was indie and I told him no, but that my brother was.  Also, the only thing more embarrassing than a family member catching you crying while emailing, is the weeks when my companion does (also don´t worry about the love thing, josh sends me love every week). Kiley doesn´t ever write me anymore, but I don´t have that much time anyways, probably her tampoco. You´re probably right that M will look the same Ben, but I am expecting that she can talk mostly because everyone says she says Mama, and the babies here don´t learn to talk until like 4 years old some of them

Mom, I don´t have a back up phone number, so hopefully things work out. 

Sunscreen is easy to buy, but expensive. I am going to spend a lot of money on sunscreen (which doesn´t even do anything, because I sweat it all off immediately if I am outside in the sun) and water and sugar and salt for homemade gatorade and vaseline, which is helping my lips a lot. The crummy thing is the salt and chafing from the sweat, I can´t imagine how much it sucks to be somewhere humid. But I sweat a bunch after my shower and the real heat hash´t even begun, but even with those aspects, I am alright and actually happy. I might be able to wear a hat or something, but I doubt it. Someone mentioned something like that though. I said 'cenote' in a game where we have to name bodies of water and everyone was incredulous, like, "I think that is a volcano", but that´s okay, because my right quotient went up. We almost never do service, but that´s okay. Sometimes there are planned service projects, but I have never been able to help with one. I think I will have that chance sometimes. This week we moved the sister missionaries, maybe that counts.

I´ll probably get the easter package a week from Tuesday. I won´t use my other account to Skype you because I can´t remember the password. 

Dad, all of the photos from last week were in Tiujauan and all these in Mexicali.

I am feeling a burn de anxiety right now, with the emails and the call and stuff, but I will just sin and use a little more computer time. 

This week:

Kaden in Mexicali

We have a good and big ward, but we have the half with a lot of less actives, but that´s okay, except we have to walk a lot to the food and can´t visit the members except when we eat with them.

Everyone says that my shoes will melt, but I am going to use them anyways, because I don´t want to buy shoes with leather soles. Afterwards, I will ask you guys to send me more shoes if I need them.

My companion is good. He talks a ton and so we always waste a ton of time and he is really forgetful but he reminds me of a little kid in that he always has really good intentions. He tries to help me a lot and is a good person and wants to work (even though we waste a ton of time) so I try not to complain. He tries to clean too, but most people just don´t have the ocd attention that I have. I wash using powder detergent to clean, but I am going to invest in a bottle of clorox to dilute. 

He is trying to lose wieght and always asks about what I eat and exercise, but I do such crappy exercise that it can´t be that. I would really like to spend like an hour exercising, instead of 10 minutes, but oh well. 

Much Irrigated Farm Land

I´m trying really hard to laugh at everything, whenever I feel alone or at all of my insecurities and anxieites, and it´s really hard but when I fail I just try to try again and keep working the next day to be positive and I no longer label myself as a negative person, but rather a positive patient, happy person. Even though everyone always tells me I need to smile more which irritates me more than anything else. Like we were walking and the heat doesn´t even bother me and "why are you sad?" and so I just say that that is the thing that makes me the most sad, but I am doing a lot better at talking to people, so that is good. I felt depressed and wasn´t talking to anyone, but then I started to at the meal, and everyone liked me and it was way better and they complimented my spanish instead of asking if I had just arrived and said I talked unlike a lot of americans. 

When we do practices, my companion plays Dona Maria Apostasia, with her two typical ugly babies, which makes me laugh a ton. He also says if the numbers on our counter tickets on the bus add up to 21 we can exchange them for one kiss, which makes the bus ride a lot funner. The closest we got is me 19 and him 20. Haha

It is really dusty here, but I feel a lot better now that I bought vaseline, because my lips are regular again and my nose isn´t bleeding anymore. I also mixed homemade gatorade powder that I can use a little bit of and carry it with me to add to water. When July begins, we will have some time during the day to study (or if we are bad, sleep) but it will be miserable. The heat doesn´t bother me that much, like I said, just the sweating and the having to think so much about drinking water. 

My New Companion

It turns out that our accents don´t even matter. My companion is pretty american looking and from Caretero and everyone always acts surprised when he says he is Mexican. It is all about appearance. Also, once a sister trashed his spanish and said he needed to study more because she thought he was american. But also he said sabo once with a member, so it is true that he needs to study more. Also, it means that I can do it!

I still stress out a ton, but I feel a lot better when I feel like I am in an anime or a movie (and keep trying to remind myself that I am a relaxed person, now). Which is easy because Mexicali has a lot of interesting scenery, not in a pretty way, but in a bleak lonely way that i really like; like appreciating the mountains in the far background and the sound of our feet while we walk across a once-muddy, rutted field, stepping on the dried twigs and the weedy flowers  that I actually really like and a little bit of trash. (It´s like I am in a post-apocalypse sometimes)

Studying 

When we get back to the house it is like 94 degrees inside, but I don´t mind that much yet. Mostly I just hate the sun because it wrecks my skin.

I am already using more time than I should to write people, but maybe another epoch (is that a word?) in my mission I will do better. 

The Chinese food is famous here (and decent for how cheap it is) and people say that 75% of the population is Chinese and one guy was telling us they all live underground and that is why we never see them and they are isolative and only go to their restaurants to work, which sounded crazy until I realized that it makes perfect sense that Asians would be the only ones smart enough to live underground in this place. (and me, I had that idea)

I will see you guys on Saturday (if the family we are hoping for says yes) but I think so. My companion isn´t even going to call his family because he can´t get ahold of them. If not, don´t worry. I will write you Monday and see you soon. I love you guys a lot and awkward hugs and eternal families and don´t give me diarrhea (because it will kill me here) and love you and don´t worry and love you.

Kaden