Monday, July 21, 2014

Written June 23, 2014


Lindsay, love you too!

Kiley, ironic that you have met my niece, and I haven't. Im glad that my letters help you when you are feeling that you have panic attacks or are depressed, (my family members have expressed similar sentiments, although I am unsure, since in my letters, I only describe experiences like that.) Tattoos look fine, but once you get old, it won't look good on your aged skin (but no sense crying over spilled ink, permanently into your skin with a needle). I would avoid talking about poop and stuff like that on my blog (my mom would like to censor that sort of thing, but I told her she wasn't allowed to) but then it wouldn't be an authentic experience. Would it? I also would like to annotate people's letters, but printing is harder in mexico. I don't know what my favorite Bible verse is, because I take all the scriptures we have collectively, and they are in the Book of Mormon, but I will tell you if I find one.

Dad, never send big pictures again, because it was like this: matt's face, lindsays face, bens face, bens belly, mackenzie...? But thanks for the pictures Dad. I think that they were all full-sized, but I was just looking at previews and that made me pararnoid. (the spanish verb parar maybe plus paranoid). Also, in the mtc, I tried to send more than 2 photos at once and they didn't send and it was a hassle, so I have never tried again.  Be careful that that couch you found for Aaron doesn't have bed bugs. 

Mom, I want to see baby deer and poppies. The suit still hasn't arrived, but I think it will arrive Wednesday. I will tell you when, but because i am in mexicali, things don't arrive except once every 6 weeks. The kid that I baptized we met through some members that reactivated with him, but this past sunday none of them came, which made me feel really bad. We need to visit him, but sometimes we don't have time and retention is allegedly mainly the ward's responsibility. We are supposed to teach him the missionary lessons again, but then they also say that nonmembers are the priority. I feel like he probably is going to go inactive and it's going to be on my head, which I just mostly feel bad for him, not for the sin I am going to have. I am not where the Colorado river is, so i can't tell you if any water comes through. But if they change me to San Luis Rio Colorado, I will tell you. Also, if you can't update my blog, make Ben or Dad or someone do it, but thanks for all of your help with that! Love you a lot!

Ben, i feel the same way, that is, someone ticks me off and then I try to be nice and better to them and things are fine, and then they tick me off again. Ben, if you are the next prophet, then Thomas Monson is going to be the prophet for a long time. It was probably just a sympathy bloody nose (kuvad) with me in the dry heat of Mexicali (vaseline will help you a lot, put it in your nose every morning and night). I wish that i could be like you, Ben, and say stuff like that about the budget and time and all of that (but here I am writing when I should be proselyting, because no one listens to me when I tell them we don't have time for this or that). Try not to say hell and stuff, but i also said hell once in the past week. You could say no manches or caray, those are things that I always say, but no manches isn't allowed anymore for missionaries...sigh.... I don't want to do your ordering thing, but just know that throughout your mission, you will probably need encouragement for every single one of those reasons. I also don't like it when people scream the F word, but Joseph told me he said a lot of bad words when he broke his arm, and he usually doesn't swear, so maybe it is really hard to control. When you tell me that you and dad are fighting, I feel really bad, so you need to at least insert some kind of joke or something. Thanks for postponing your suicide at least until I return. 

Josh, we went to the mall during the mexico game today, and everyone was screaming, but really they aren't that bad. I think that maybe everyone will be drunk afterwrds, but not any more than usual. 

This week:

Will the spirit ever indicate that I should break a mission rule or a commandment? (everyone is always trying to justify with Nephi).

Which rules take priority (because even I admit that sometimes we are in a situation or we create a situation where we have to break some rule and you have to choose which): our safety (spiritual or physical) even when we don't think there's a problem or the POTENTIAL salvation of other people? I got in a fight with my companion about this, because I have never really believed in the ends justify the means, but even I admit that for weakness, I break a lot of little rules.

Sometimes my companion ticks me off, but sometimes i like him. As examples: he corrected me for calling the stake presidency counselor ¨President¨ because he doesn't preside, even though he is president and we asked another missionary and my companion said he should even call President Eyring, Elder Eyring. Or for example we were reflecting on the week and I said i didn't contact anyone (because it is a huge weakness of mine) and he asked why I thought I didn't, and I said that maybe I was waiting for the perfect situation which wasn't going to happen and then he started lecturing me about how I can't wait for a sandwich to fall from the sky from God and a bunch of stuff. And I was thinking: 'I know, I literally just told you that was my problem'.

Or we had to wait for computers in the internet cafe and I said we could go to another, one street away because I don't like waiting (because it was already 5:20 and we should be proselyting by 6) and then he just said, oh, you're impatient).....

Another missionary told me he heard he could be kind of a jerk sometimes ( and that is a pretty good description). That same missionary also gave a talk on reverence and then we were talking about it and he was saying how he would talk every week and then told us about a talk he gave with rice krispy treats and how everyone was laughing when he paid his tithing of rice krispy treats to the bishop, but then took a bite out of it, because he didn't have enough left and how that was the way to get people to pay attention (anyone see the hypocrisy of this?)

But whatever, like Ben told me 'the Atonement', my companion is smart and not that bad. It just makes me realize that i have to marry someone who thinks they are better than everyone else (like me) but doesn't think they are better than me. But really, I try to remember that maybe i have corrected people insistently when I was wrong and stuff sometimes comes out wrong, and that we probably aren't really that different in an eternal scale, for God. 

Now, I am going to talk about poop more. The worst punishment in the world is being in a house with one bathroom and having to poop really bad and your companion is taking up the bathroom, and we aren't at home, so I can't even run into the forest as an option. But it was the first time that I have had skid like I was telling you, every experience is for our exaltation and our own good, so somehow, this helped me. 

I am reading Jesus the Christ, which my companion lent me, and it is really interesting and really good. Did you know Joseph and Mary were first cousins? Me neither. But really it is very good. 

The elders quorum president read that scripture about that women should learn in silence in the sacrament meeting over the pulpit. Idiot.

Love you guys a lot and don't give me diarrhea (because sometimes my companion is showering and I have to wait) and the Atonement and eternal family and sorry if I am a jerk sometimes and love you

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