Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Written April 14, 2014


I was going to write you a letter about how I am depressed, but I feel a little bit better after reading all of your letters.

Lindsay, Thanks for all of the encouragement and answering all my insecurities. It doesn't make them go away, but it does help a lot for awhile. I need to figure out a way to not let them bother me so much. I like reading my patriarchal blessing, but it isn't very specific and talks a lot about the blessings I will have if I am good and not very much about who I am or my individual worth (although it does say a little bit).

Josh, I agree with every paragraph that you said. I can speak without using my throat as much, because I have been practicing a lot, but I don't think I sound like a mexican or anything either. But I am to the point where people are starting to ask me if I am american or english or american or german, so that is a start. I also need to learn that skill of socializing, but it is like my spanish, that it is good (decent?) when all of my concentration is on it and nothing else. Also, yeah that of the photos is weird. That I am finally tall kind of and I feel weird about it and want to be the same height as everyone else. 

Dad, thanks for your comments. I am using my companion's resistence elastic and next p day I am going to buy my own at walmart, but my body is already returning to the dust...

Ben, every paragraph of your letter made me laugh and miss you a lot. Like that I don't remember your face and that if you concentrate in the mirror, your face turns into my face. I would set things up so that you can take ap spanish your senior year. If you exceed that, then you won't have spanish for one year and your remembering the grammar and the like...you will start to forget. Unless you want to take a spanish class online or something or graduate early, I don't know.

Mom, (and Josh) I don't even believe in genealogy like that, because it can't be that all of the desendants of slaves and stuff just disappeared and royalty was a very small part of the population, but I do think it is interesting. I haven't gotten that box, but I will probably get it this Friday. I will try to be better to myself, but sometimes I forget for days or weeks at a time. 

Aunt Trudy, sigh also. But love you and see you soon!

This week (and last):

An 11 year-old told us a bunch of funny stuff when we were talking to him like "I'm going to tell you guys the truth....I'm catholic' or "Do you guys judge?...(and we were thinking for a second) because the testigos (of jehovah), yes, they judge.'

Also, an exported ex drug dealer who is really cool, with him we were talking about a tree in English and "Is that a banana tree?"...."I don't think so, cuz if it was, they probably woulda stole it by now...you can't leave anything around here, that's why the houses look like prisons with bars on the window and locks on the door"

Just to be a jerk to my old old companion, once he told me when he was little he used to lick stone gates and stuff and that it tasted good and he told me it tasted sweet when I asked, and i never told him he ate lead paint.

We were talking to a guy in English and my companion in Spanish told him the name of the church and then told him what it was in English and the guy smiled really big and told my companion to keep up the good work and keep learning and turned to me and said "He's learning!" (everyone here is racist, but not in the way that they are actually racist, just that they aren't politically correct, which i actually like, because I can say more stuff)

If I feel like I have nerve damage in my heel from turning suddenly while plaiying soccer (needles tingling and burning) should I avoid any movement that causes that feeling or stretch my leg out (that's what causes it) to stretch the nerve?

I tried ceviche and it was really good, but I don't think it was typical, so I will have to tell you when I try it with clamato (which this didn't have).

Some members have a pomegranate tree but I think I am going to change here in two weeks, so there is no way I will get to eat any, because it just started having flowers. And my companion said he used to have one, which is cool.

I felt really depressed these last few days and didn't do good prayers (nothing more than just to say I felt sick and didn't feel like praying; more just to check in I guess). And then I was thinking of the reasons I feel depressed: 

-inadecuacy/jealousy of other people to some degree -> feeling crappy about myself

-our chontes of zone leaders who, since they made the announcement that we can only have an activity monthly, have had activities every 2 weeks. ( which means I can't really do the things I need to do on p-days like clean or go to walmart to buy stuff)

-my body hurts, as in my feet, knees, ankles and so I didn't do my jump rope today and I haven't been doing the knee exercise in one leg because my heel has the screwed up nerve thing

I am really happy with my companion (everyone does little things that bug me, but him barely any) so it is a shame that we have changes in two weeks. Some things he says to address my concerns remind me a lot of Josh 

I really miss all of you. Will e-mail you next week and really appreciate your letters and love you eternal family.
Love you,


No comments:

Post a Comment